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darling, you'll be okay

I have sat in the backseat of a car for many of my years

I’ve heard moms and dads say things I didn’t understand

I’ve heard aunts and uncles spill secrets

I’ve heard grandparents spew lies

I’ve seen relationships fall apart

I’ve seen the galaxies in his eyes break apart and fall onto the ground

and I swear nothing has ever hurt me more than that

He kissed my forehead and told me he was alright

and I watched him disappear into his back door that we always snuck  out of

I watched his light go on and off and on and off and on and off

and I said I loved him and goodnight

Over the days he started talking to a girl that was nothing less than gorgeous,

and I’ll let you know it tore me apart

but he swore they were only friends and I believed him and I wish I didn’t

I sat in the back of his car when he picked her up and I watched the way he smiled when she told a joke and at this point I was nothing less than broken

I got onto his account after I swore I wouldn’t and I saw her messaging him “I love you too”

and I think that was my breaking point

He kissed her more metaphorically than he did me in person

and I cried

I tore apart daisies thinking that would change him, but we all know it didn’t

I drank my body weight in vodka thinking that would change what I saw, but we all know it didn’t

after not talking for ten days he asked me what was up and I just said her name and I never got a reply

I assumed it was over but I kept our relationship status up and his name still had 3 hearts on my phone

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to heal, but I didn’t think I could

Every time I cried I thought about their messages and I just cried more

Now his name tastes like vodka and I just wish I could drown in it

vodka// im not sure if this makes any sense (b/m)

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